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| | | | | [ - Richie Realm Blog - ]
This is actually the base image I used to make the Richie Realm ID. A friend runs the club, and requested an ID for it... I was obligated to do so, because my kiriban catcher told me she wanted to give her kirban request to the owner of the club instead XD; I didn't mind so much though.
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Okay, this entry will be about a dream I had, where... I am myself? Well, a verison of my self I suppose. I'm not sure where the setting is, but it seems to be in some sort of forest, but there is a small clearing or path-like area through it.
Image --> [LINK]
And it starts off with me being partially behind the edge of the wall... watching Ash and Misty
Image --> [LINK]
I'll try write it in a bit of a narrative/firt-person format...
I try stay as hidden as I can, while peeking around the corner at both of them.
There was no way I could go through with it now. No way at all.
She was so happy and bubbly, chattering away to him about something or other. I couldn't hear what she was saying, or what the context was, but I understand the tone.
He looked as if he was sort of confused, but still giving her his full attention none-the-less. It seemed that he figured the more he listened to her, the more she talked to him, the closer he may get to understand what it was that she was actually trying to tell him.
They were at the corner edge of the building, across the clearing from me. The edges of the clearing were all shaded by the surrounding trees, wall, and building.
Sunlight bathed the grass in the middle, but it felt as if it did so weakly. Soft shadows hovered around everything. I hoped that the shadows also helped hide me from view if they ever looked this way. What little of me there would be to see. And at this distance it shouldn't be easy to spot me unless you were really looking.
That's when she exclaimed something excitedly, nearly seeming to jump up in her excietment. And then she grabbed his wrist, or was it actually his hand, and pulled him off into the tree line. Out of my line of sight.
I twirled around, leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes, leaning my head up, feeling the cool cement of the wall on my palms and through my shirt to my back.
No. I can't tell him. And what point would there be?
This is doomed to be one-sided.
I just know it.
"So, you came here to talk to Ash, didn't you? He was there, and you didn't even get near him."
He startled me from my thoughts, I tensed up and stood straight up against the wall, my eyes opening wide to look at him.
Gary...
What was he doing here?
It's been a while since I saw him actually... quite a while.
I sigh, unknowingly, aloud and turn my head to the right. My unseeing gaze settling on the wall stretching far off to my left.
I didn't see the slight slouch to his stance. Or that he had his hands jammed in his pockets. Let alone that his head was slightly tilted down, his eyes angling up slightly to look at me from underneath his auburn bangs.
His face was a mix of emotions. I was too busy lost in my saddness and regret to see my feelings were nearly reflected on his face exactly. But there was also an edge of what may have been anger burning underneath, in his eyes.
We stood still, unmoving, in the silence for minutes.
"Why haven't you ever tried telling him about your feelings?"
He broke in. But the rest of his dialog remained unspoken, but I could imagine him adding, 'It's not like you...'
Worry etches onto my face. I don't reply, I just keep my gaze averted from his. Focused on the wall, and the grass growing along it.
He's saying something else to me. But it's not really reaching me. I can hear his voice, but his words don't process in my mind.
I hadn't realized he got so close. One minute he was a few meters away, the next thing I know, he's standing right in front of me.
He's gone quiet again.
He reaches out his right hand, placing the palm of his hand flat against the wall to the left side of my head.
I blink and look at him questioningly.
His eyes capture mine. I can't look away. But I can see his other arm reaching up, placing his other palm flat against the wall to the right side of my head, causing him to lean in closer towards me.
He's got an intense look in his eye. His mouth is pressed together into a thin line.
This is unfamilar to me. I haven't seen him look at me like this before. There is an air of seriousness about him. What is it?
"You still don't understand?" he asks, his tone sounds rather annoyed, almost upset or angry, "tch..." I see a frown form on his face as he flicks his head to the left, keeping his palms pressed against the wall, leaning slightly towards me.
He mumbles something I don't catch.
His face has softened, he looks back at me, his head still slightly turned to the side. I notice his eyebrows have arched up a little, and his mouth slightly down turned. Giving me the feeling that he's a little sad maybe.
How can I tell these sorts of things? How long have I really known him? It feels like it's been longer than it has.
I realize how much I actually consider the two of us to be alike.
And yet, we still have some big differences.
Wait... what the hell am I thinking? does that even make sense?
I was suppose to be trying to confess my feelings to Ash but...
That obviously didn't happen.
I don't think I can do it after all.
It took me a while to realize the feelings in the first place. And-
"Hey, can you even hear me?" He's got that edge of aggrivation to his voice.
I guess he'd been talking to me, but I was off in my own world, thinking...
His face, it looks irritated. And yet... he's still so close.
Why doesn't that bother me?
Well, I can feel nothing but saddness right now it seems. Saddness and dissapointment, in myself.
My gaze angles down, just below the v-neck of his shirt. He's not wearing his belt pouch... huh. Wonder why.
Suddenly I feel him wrap his arms around me, just below my shoulders, and he pulls me close against him.
"Look... I'm sorry..." I hear him say, quietly.
When did he get taller than me? Have we not seen one another for that long?
I turn my head to the right, and rest the side of my head against him, just below his shoulder. My hands reach up and press against his chest.
He feels so warm.
It's been a long time since I felt the warmth of another person so close to me. It's nice.
I don't realize that I seem to have begun snuggling against him.
Neither do I notice the strange nervous noise he utters.
"Look, I know what it's like. Okay? And doing things this way... they just don't work out. Trust me." His voice is soft and quiet. Not quite what I'm used to, but it's not unpleasent or anything...
'Of course I trust you' I think to myself.
My arms slide around him, and I hug him in return, burrying my face in his shirt. I'm trembling slightly.
I can feel his body tense a little, then he tightens his firm hold of me a little. I feel his head reasing against my own.
I don't care why I'm so comfortable with him. Or what anyone may think at this very moment. I just know that I like the feel of him holding me. It lessens the angst I feel.
He's still holding my tightly, when I suddenly feel him shift a little, and his warm breath against my ear.
It startles me a little, I tense up, and am almost ready to push him away on instinct.
Almost breathlessly, I hear him say my name. One of his hands slide up to rest on my neck. I shiver, my mouth falling open and breath catching.
I mentally shake myself and gain enough sense to push him away from me. Not roughly, but not all that gently either.
I feel his arms fall away from me, his eyes are hooded as he seems to be looking past me for a moment, before he shuts them tight, his hands balling into fists, and he flicks his head to the left again.
Again, the silence stretches out, but I'm beginning to physically relax again. Even if my mind is still a little stunned.
His words come out sounding a little strained, his fists still at his sides, "I'm not sure I can really appologize this time," his eyes ease open slowly, his fists releasing, "because it probably wouldn't be completly sincere if I did..."
He tilts his head towards me a little, looking at me from the corners of his eyes.
I can't tell what his expression is.
"I..." my voice seems to trail off and die. I can't seem to really say anything.
He sighs, closing his eyes, his left hand reaching up to brush through his hair.
"Look. Okay, so..." he starts, ruffling his hand through his hair some more, "I... I don't know how to say it. Alright?"
I blink and tilt my head to the side, looking at him with curiosity.
He sighs again, closing his eyes, his hand dropping to his side. He finally turns to me, takes in another breath, and lets it out.
He's leaning forward a little, his hands raised up, almost as if he's preparing to catch something. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. A frown seems to form on his face as he snaps his mouth shut. He opens it again, but nothing intelligible makes it through.
My face scrunches a little in confusion.
"Ahgh, geh...!" his fists ball up as he slumps forward, almost bending over.
"I... I can't... seem to... say it. I just... don't know what words..." he says so quietly, that I can barely hear him.
He suddenly looks up, coming closer to me, "but please, can you... let me... keep trying? To tell you? Explain?"
The pleading look on his face, the sincerity in his voice, the near desperation in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile, and barely contain my near giggle. I nod my head in agreement.
Still not really understanding, but if he wants to try explain, or tell me this much, I don't see a reason to refuse.
"ah..." he seems to make a sound of relief, his face lighting up, an almost smile spreading across his face.
"Thank you..." his voice is soft and quiet again.
I smile at him.
And then I feel him suddenly slip his arms around my waist, as he pulls me forward.
I blink in surpirse, but am unsure of how to react. He does realize what he's doing doesn't he? That this-
My thoughts are cut short as I feel his mouth press against mine.
My mind freezes along with my body. Though my eyes have gone wide.
I feel his lips leave mine, his eyes creak open and he sighs a little.
My mouth drops open and I stare up at him, unbelieving.
Did he just... is he still...
I feel his right hand slide up from my waist, along my back, and his fingers slide around the back of my neck. He closes his eyes again, leaning toward me again. I feel his hair tickle my face, his nose brushes against mine, his head is tilted slightly, I feel his warm breath agianst my skin.
I can feel my body quivering sligthly.
I reach up towards him, resting my hands on his shoulders.
"Wh-what... what are you doing... Gary? What's going on..." I manage to say, "Are you..."
He whispers to me, "I'm trying to help you." That's all he said.
I gulp, my fingers tightening around his shoulders, my body still trembling, my lips pressed together.
"You want to get over him, don't you? Well, why don't you try me instead." His voice remains quiet, but serious. I feel him lean down and nuzzle against my neck.
I can't help but think it does feel rather nice. He's being so gentle, but not timid.
It's also true. I do want to try get over Ash. Since I've finally decided to give up on trying to tell him anything.
And it's not like I don't like Gary.
I just...
never considered this before.
Since he's brought it up, I suppose I could give it a shot...
I tilt my head up, and a little to the side, giving him better access to the side of my neck, one of my own hands sliding around to hold the back of his neck.
Dimly, in the back of my mind, I see the logic to his suggestion. But it's probably more my loneliness, and craving for anothers touch, after so long, that I think allowed me fall for his advances.
I feel him slide his cheek along my neck and up to my own cheek. His mouth sliding against my face to rest on my lips.
My eyes have become hooded, and I feel the urge to taste his lips.
I sweep my tongue along them, gaining a positive response.
He wraps his arms around me, holding me closer. I feel his lips part as he leans shifts his head further to the side and leans in closer as we engage in a heated kiss...
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| | | Posted 4/27/2008 1:42 AM - 26 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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